Life is always changing, but I feel like it is the pace at which life changes that catches our attention.
☀
Over the last few months so many things have changed for me. In my personal life, school life, and future life. Some of which I won't choose to share because I'm not ready to talk to a lot of people about a few bits and pieces. But I will say things are looking so much better now, and I'm looking forward to what God has in store for me.
For all of senior year, I felt like I've focused on my college life for after high school. I wasn't sure where I wanted to go, and to be completely honest, I'm still not 100% certain about any of my last few choices. I wanted to go to the University of Tennessee, I found a roommate, put a deposit down, it was basically official... but after a lot of reconsideration and talking about budgeting, I realized it wouldn't be smart for me to go out of state for my undergraduate and set myself up to be in a lot of debt as an adult. And that would be before even going to grad school., med school., or whatever I pursue after my undergrad, which would add more student loans to pay back. I'm now going in state, but I have a few options and haven't quite decided where I'll be headed in the fall... maybe I will post about that when I actually decide, which will hopefully be very soon. It's unsettling to not know where you will end up. But my family and friends have been so supportive with the decisions I have made about schools, and that's been so uplifting.
Our senior play wrapped up earlier this month, and I felt so bored at first. I put months of time in to the play, so I was like "what do I do with all of this time?" Well, luckily, it has been in the 90s here, beautiful outside, very hot, but so beautiful outside. I cannot get enough of being outside. Now that the weather is a bit nicer and more manageable than freezing temps., or rain, I'm starting to take a lot more pictures like I did last year. Paid shoots and even things just for fun. Whatever it has been, I'm stoked for Summer and all of the amazing things I will be doing with my friends and family outside.
My relationship with God has gotten a bit more real. I've been praying more, being more thankful, having more faith and hope in what happens with life. Just listening and going with the flow of life as it comes. I've learned many things are not in my control, all I can do is give it to God and listen and follow what he has in store for me, even if it is so hard at times. I have learned I need to have faith and hope that there is something more for me, and that that is why some things just happen. Not everything will go as you planned for it to. Even if it doesn't always feel like it, God is always doing things in your favor.
In less than 2 weeks I will be graduating high school. For many people reading this, that's super late, and yeah it is. lol. I just can't process how quickly all of these fun, little years have gone by. Everything has been a journey that has led me to be right here. Now. This moment. These last few, very bittersweet, moments. I'm just very happy with exactly where I am in life and who I am becoming. I have so much to look forward to in life. I have amazing friends, a beautiful family, and I have myself, and the Lord. And that sounds perfect to me.
The world is so loving and nourishing, and when you listen to your heart, and to everything around you, you truly find so much peace with who you are, and how things change. Though things are not always occurring in the way you most desire them to, there is always a reason for their happening, and things do start to fall in to place.
Until next time, Nichola Rae ☀
